Alone vs. Loneliness

I have found new definitions or at least experiences in these areas lately.

In the past 20 years I have been with the same woman through good times and more recently very bad times. This was basically my entire adult life practically growing up together. And tonight as we take a final step toward the dissolving of that relationship I am finding myself wondering where or who I will be, will I be completely whole now?

This past year I will always know as the Year of Hell...A year I wished to never have experienced, but one I did nonetheless. I had been alone for the first time in that 20 years really alone and funny thing is I didn't feel loneliness. Not like I did when I was with her or around her during that year. Strange as it was I felt more alone and lonely in her company then I did when I was completely by myself. I have come to find strengths and weaknesses I did not realize I had. I have found and lost very good friends and met some entirely new very different people. I was put through something by some of my own design and by others actions I had no control over. I will never ever be myself again nor will I completely heal from this for a very, very long time.

I hope to soon find the motivation to be creative but right now it takes all I am to get up and get moving daily and understand being Alone...